Defensive Listening

Listening is an art that I can truly master only when I am able to be absolutely silent within.

Often whilst listening I hear my inner voice activating a running commentary which continues to criticise, judge, analyse that which is being spoken. Irrespective of who or what I am ‘listening’ to there is a constant critic in action within.

Why do I do this? What is behind this auto pilot critic?

Looking closer at my internal processing I realise that when I am listening I am often holding an attitude of ‘defence’. Internally that little voice is defending my idea, my work, my position etc. My listening, and thus what I hear, is influenced by an attitude that has already taken a position of ‘defence’.

If I truly want to listen and understand the truth behind what is being spoken then I need to learn to listen with an attitude which is free from fear. There is actually no right and wrong or good and bad – it is a matter of perspective and just because someone else has a different perspective it does not make mine wrong.

When I spend time in silence I begin to free myself of deep rooted fears and expectations. This then allows me to truly listen without the need to judge or justify anything.

 

Om Shanti

The Value behind Reaction

There are often reactions that happen within situations – either I react or others react. The situation then becomes a confrontation.

When a value or belief that someone holds is challenged then they can react. Reaction is a way of defending and upholding the underlying value that is being challenged.

It is actually not a question of what is right or wrong and therefore the way to resolve it is also to go beyond trying to prove its correctness or not. The way to resolve reaction is to foster respect for what they value and then respond accordingly.
After all, no matter the situation, it is not my place to undermine someone else’s belief/value.

Reaction happens for a reason and if I am able to understand and give respect to the underlying belief/value that they wish to uphold then the reaction will easily dissolve.

 

Om Shanti

Clouds of Ignorance

Ignorance at its worst is when I reject something I don’t know anything about. But to force an opinion, even when I know the facts, is also a form of ignorance.

There will never be a time when I know all things. In a world that is constantly changing, facts only remain facts for a short time.
Everyone has their own perspective in looking at something and perspective is not necessarily based on fact but on experience and perhaps on personal choices. In between the two – facts and perspective – there are various levels of ignorance.

To be wise is to allow everything to be ‘right’ in the grand scheme of things… to understand that my ‘right’ does not mean someone else’s ‘wrong’. It does not work like that.

Remove the clouds of ignorance and allow the mind to work openly in an unlimited way.

 

Om Shanti

The Observer

Do I stand and watch the scenes in my drama as they play themselves out in front of me or do I jump In and try and fix things?

If I am able to watch, as an observer, then I will see, appreciate and enjoy each scene for what it is. I will be able to understand the characters and their reactions and above all, whilst seeing everything, I will remain stable within my own peace.

The moment I stop being an observer I become ‘involved’. I will nolonger be able to see, understand or appreciate the characters and the unique roles they play in the scene. Physically, mentally and emotionally I become involved – with something to gain or something to lose in each scene. Internally I will find myself on a battlefield needing to fight for my ‘rights’.

I need to see the full picture in order to be able to make the right move at the right time in any scene in lifes drama. I can only do that if I am an observer.

 

Om Shanti

Tolerance for Life

We may not realise it but we take power, comfort and happiness from thing being the way we want them to be. When they are not, then the ‘need’ for them to be our way, challenges us to react to make them ‘right’ again.

Tolerance is to allow things to take their course without the need to control or change them. It is about accepting the differences we see.

The power of tolerance allows us to break the strings of these ‘needs’. It allows us to let it go and frees us from such dependencies.

We don’t need to suppress our own feelings but tolerance allows us to see from a wider perceptive and in doing so, it allows us to understand and accept it.

It may appear that we are weak when we tolerate, but actually weakness lies in the inability to tolerate.

Tolerance is the greatest of all powers. Let’s use it in action and thus develop it in our life.

 

Om Shanti

The Right to be Right

When we decide to do something or say something then of course it is because we believe it to be right.

When two people have opposing views of what is right, then there is a clash.

Many of us cannot tolerate being wrong. We want to be right even at the risk of hurting those close to us and destroying relationships As a result we take on a great deal of stress and pain through the need to be right.

What makes something right and what makes it wrong?

What makes me step down and allow the other persons ‘right’ to be accepted, whilst renouncing my own need to be right?

What is ‘right’ is a matter of perspective and it is possible that both are right from their side.

When I find myself in a state of proving the self to be right, do I have the courage to step back and renounce my right to be right?

 

Om Shanti

Become Blind

If I see someone’s weakness it is as if the soul becomes infected.

My vision will focus on that weakness as the basis of their personality. Then everything else that follows – my thoughts, words, actions and feelings – will be coloured by that.

They are the ones with a weakness and yet it is me who creates and holds the waste thoughts and negative feelings within the self. I then nurture these types of thoughts of feelings by re-asserting the existence of the weakness. I ‘feed off it’ and thus enable it to grow and set up home within the self.

Whether they are right or wrong, doing something good or bad, why should that control the thoughts and feelings that I experience?

I need to make myself blind to the weaknesses of others, not just to be able to maintain healthy relationships, but
to protect my own inner self from being ‘infected’ and infectious.

Don’t become ‘infected’, become blind to the weaknesses of others.

 

Om Shanti